13.2.07
Feeling: tired, tired and just tired.
hectic school days? common test is over, yet i am not feeling great.. it's not worth celebrating. I think i am used to the stress and it now change me. get an A2 for a-math, so wad? it does not promise me anything in Os.
Ms neo say i have change. I lost the fighting spirit in me. I lost the spark in my eyes. she was joking that maybe we should go back to OBS, find back the spirit which made us find our way, pull the kayak over 200M in the mud. I don't mind going there for my whole life.
I had lost my true self in midst of finding my own goal. Or have i not? What do i want actually? i don't know either. There is nothing left in my memory for me to linger. I feel empty now. i finally understood how i am feeling for the past nights whereby it's a strange feeling. It's emptiness.
Everyone had changed. Everything had changed. It's not as simply as what i thought. Ms Ng aged. Ms ng took us when she was 25. 4 yrs passed. she does not have the smile on her anymore. Neither do we.
I told her i can't see my future. Angela agreed with that. When we were young, sec1 or 2s. we had big dreams. I dreamt to be a doctor. I thought as long as i study hard, get good results, I WILL BE A DOCTOR TO BE. now, the older we are, the farther we drift from our dreams. issit it right? i lost the willpower to be a doctor. I don't where i will end up to be.
someone, pls change me back to who i used to be. that wong jia yi when she is naive
20:16
